


You ok, Sammy?

by Idreamofhazel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12x02 meta, Aftermath of Torture, Brother Feels, Caring Dean, Emotionally Hurt Sam, Family, Gen, Hurt Sam Winchester, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, sam and dean hug, sam winchester meta, the whereabouts of Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 20:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8341987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idreamofhazel/pseuds/Idreamofhazel
Summary: What exactly happened between leaving the torture house and having dinner? Features people actually asking Sam how he’s doing. And a brother hug. And Cas.





	

The ride back to the bunker was quiet, uncomfortable, and hazy for Sam. Feeling out of body, head swimming with pain and questions, astonished that Dean was here, let alone his mom, he sat in back seat, glancing back and forth between the two of them, afraid they might disappear again. He knew this was real though. He knew what real felt like. 

“You ok back there, Sammy?” Dean’s voice was keeping Sam grounded in the now and not in the past two days. 

“Yeah, I'm,” What was he exactly? Not fine, actually. Not ok. But not dying. “Hanging in there.” 

Dean knew what he meant, knew Sam was holding on, but was going to need some time. Mary was concerned. She didn’t know that this wasn’t Sam’s first, second, or even third round of torture. Not that it would make a difference. Torture is torture no matter how strong you are and Mary could tell Sam was strong, but not ok. 

Back at the bunker, Dean stayed close to Sam, almost holding him up as they walked down the stairs and into the library, making as much physical contact as he could. Mary kept her distance, unsure of her place here. Would Sam want her touching him? Would Sam love her? Does he even want to see her? Does he know what she did to him all those years ago? 

And Cas was there. Followed them home in the truck. Dean still didn't understand why he kept driving the thing, but the angel had always had his quirks. 

Dean made Sam sit in a chair, eased him into it because of the cuts, and then Cas came over. 

“You ok?” Dean asked again. 

“Yeah, I'm… ok.” And tired. It was all in Sam’s voice. 

“May I?” Cas walked over, stretching out his hand. 

“Yeah.” 

Sam was healed of all the physical trauma, right before Mary’s eyes. He straightened up a bit in his chair, the pain gone, the visible cuts and burns vanished. Mary still hung back, but couldn't help crying at the first sight of her _healthy_ baby boy. Sam was beautiful. 

Sam got up from the chair and Dean knew. Didn't have to ask. They just embraced, tights arms in awkward spaces, not caring where they went as long as they went somewhere solid. Sam held Dean longer than usual. He had said what he thought to be his final goodbyes a few days ago and he wasn't done processing that Dean was here, alive while the world still turned. The physical act of holding Dean in his arms pressed the reality more firmly in his mind. 

And when he finally was able to let go of Dean, he moved on to Cas. Cas’ fierceness in hugging Sam back was new and Sam wondered where all this intensity was coming from, but he wasn't complaining. 

And then he looked at his mom and Mary looked at him, and neither of them knew what was appropriate for the moment. Mary didn't want to overstep Sam’s physical boundaries, Sam was still hung up on the fact that _there was his mom. Flesh and blood. Alive._

“Sam, you, uh, need anything? To talk or?” Dean was watching his brother, noticing the weariness in his eyes that Cas’ grace couldn’t take away. 

“I, uh, not right now. I just need to process it,” he sighed, tearing his eyes away from Mary, “and eat something.” 

Dean nodded. “Right.” 

“I can go get something,” Mary suggested, her voice and hand popping up unexpectedly and softly. This is something she could do confidently, almost as a way to ease herself into life with her boys. 

So Mary left and Sam sat with Dean and Cas. Sam had so many questions--about Mary, about Dean--but all he could vocalize were questions about the past couple of days. It seemed the easiest conversation to have, hearing about how they found him, and Dean would explain what happened between him, Amara, and god once Sam was done processing what just happened to him. Dean thought it better to bring it up that way and Sam, although physically healed, was still suffering. Dean could tell, with whatever had happened, Sam wasn't ok. 

When Mary returned, Dean got up to help her put away the groceries in the kitchen, showing her where everything went and where to get plates and knives and napkins. Simple things that seemed out of place when such big questions needed to be confronted. 

“Cas, you want to sit with us? I know you don't eat, but you can stay.” Sam was still at the library table with the angel. 

Cas smiled appreciatively, noticing Sam’s thoughtfulness even while in distress. “I think I'll just go in your room and watch some Netflix. You all need time together. And I'm behind on some shows.” 

Sam nodded at the angel with a grin. 

And when Cas left to go watch tv and Sam was alone, he waited just a minute before making his way to the kitchen. He wanted to turn inward, crawl up into himself, go lie down in the dark. He felt violated. Exhausted. Dirty. But his source of comfort, his family, was here and he knew that if he was going to begin healing again, he needed to be around them. Hear their voices, their laughter. See them moving around and living. The normalcy grounded him. So, he got up from the table and went to help Dean--and his mom--get dinner on the table.


End file.
